Happy Birthday Benjamin! You turn 5……

photo (10)Oh sweet Ben……you turn 5 today.  And today marks a new journey for us.  You have now been in heaven longer than you were here with us.  And that fact starts the new reality.  But oh how very blessed we are to have had you those two wonderful, amazing years.  I can’t imagine my life without you being a part of it.  You were so different from your big brother Fischer.  So content and wanting to grow up way to fast to keep up with Fischer.  Your small bare feet that pounded the floor so determined when you walked.  I remember when you fell off a cardboard box you climbed up on when you were playing in my garage.  I gasped and you simply rubbed your head without a tear and continued on never missing a beat.  I loved that about you.  You always took whatever came your way.

I’m sure you mom has planned a glorious day for you and I am heartbroken that I am not there to experience it.  However, I have a feeling when I am joined with you one day, God in all his amazing awesomeness will have a way to let me experience every moment that we were apart.  I hope so anyway.  He is a mighty God!

Have a great time running and playing in heaven today.  We will celebrate your 836 days that we were blessed to have you here in our lives.  I’m sure you will get to hug Jesus today.  Tell him I love him and can’t wait to meet him face to face.  Give your amazing mom a hug and kiss and tell her that I love her.  Wrestle some with Fischer for me and tell him Nana loves him.  Go fishing, swimming, camping and I’m sure your mom will encourage you to “get dirty”.


Chalkboard drawing in the boys playroom.

I finished a new memorial wreath to celebrate this day.  I call it the Ben “man, man” wreath.  You loved Spiderman and referred to him as “man, man”.


I will go lay your birthday wreath later today at the place that honors your earthly life.  IMG_1363Your birthday video this year is one your mommy made.  She sent this to me March 28, 2012.  The email message said:  “Can you believe it?  Benjamin is turning 2?  Bittersweet…..”.  The song she chose is Taylor Swift’s “Don’t ever grow up”.    I think the sentiments of this song and the pictures she selected speak volumes to us today and express what we all feel.

I love you Benjamin.


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