I threw myself into school, work, and grief counseling. I remember my first day in counseling that I had to say OUT LOUD what brought me to counseling. I never said it out loud like that. Since that day, I haven’t repeated it. I learned how to deal with the car accident, and grieve in a way that was right for me.
Out of the Ashes
Grief is a hard thing to do. You have to face alot of painful things. Grief is different for everyone. If my counseling has taught me anything – it is how to handle your grief, “your way” – and to allow others to grieve “their way”. Its not wrong, its just different. That still doesn’t mean that it’s not hard to go down a path as a family unit still.
One year later, I look back at not only my journey, but that of my family’s. I’m married, buying a new home, and keeping busy at work. Lauren has since become an IRONMAN! Ava has graduated kindergarten. The Mom’s and Dad’s are still finding their new normal with their daughter gone, but they are moving forward. We all are.
I have been listening to Christian music most of my life. A song that has really seen a lot of play on my iPod alot lately is “Aftermath” by Hillsong United.
“Now all I have I count it all as loss
But to know You, and to carry the Cross
Knowing I’m found
In the light of the aftermath”
Click to listen: Aftermath
My family is still rising out of the ashes – the aftermath of my sisters death. I think we will be rising out of the ashes for some time to come. Regardless – we are still standing. We are firm. We are faithful.
To the significant others in our lives – Keith, Dan, Lisa, and John…You lost just as much as we did. But thank you for still allowing us to cry on your shoulders and handle our bad grief days with grace and love.
Jennifer Herro Pascar