Have you ever heard a song in the car, that you had to pull over? Today’s song selection is one of those songs. This song touched me at the core and the tears flowed. In fact, they still do when I hear it. So, today, be forewarned, today’s posting is tearful. At least it is to me. You see, one thing I have heard over and over on this journey is that your address book changes when an event of losing your child happens. Many of your “friends” are uncomfortable when you talk about memories of your loved one. I’m really not sure why that is………Lizz was my daughter for 25 years….and there are lots of memories in those two and half decades that are more alive in my heart and mind than ever (and I want to make sure I don’t forget them), and I hope my friends and family understand that she lives on, in my heart, how I honor her, how we all honor her memory. I think of her just like I do with all my daughters…..every single day. That doesn’t change when you lose a child.
So, today, I close my eyes and pick a Lizz, Fischer, Ben memory off the shelf in my mind and focus on that specific moment and let their laughter, the boys silliness and constant motion, Lizz’s voice and smile fill my mind and my heart. For those that know Lizz and the boys, will you join me in this exercise and do the same? If you didn’t know Lizz, I know several of you that follow my blog wear the badge of bereaved parents, so I would ask you to close your eyes and pick a favorite memory of your child. So with eyes closed, music playing choose that special moment…….hold it there…….suspend it in your mind……..recall their voice, the laughter, their hugs and take it all in. Let those memories flood your heart with their love. It is also at those moments I feel the closeness, the tenderness, the hugs, the love of my Jesus. He too is there. Holding me in those tender moments…..crying and smiling with me as I recall those memories.
1st Corinthians 13: 13 says: “ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Our love that we have for our children and their love for us lives on in our hearts and minds. And oh how I cling to faith and hope on this journey!
Thank you for your indulgence today. I know that for some of you talking about loss is very uncomfortable. As a bereaved parent, please know that we have an intense desire to keep the memory of our child alive in the hearts and minds of others. Nothing helps heal our hearts more than for people to mention our children’s names, share a memory, a laugh, or even a tear. Tears mean you cared deeply, you loved them, they made a difference in your life. And I am honored that so many loved Lizz and the boys. I know people have told me they don’t want to mention her because they are afraid they will make me cry…..well, let me let you in on something…….for bereaved parents, the tears are always, just right there. We just tuck that away to get through the tasks of life. Until a song like this comes on and they flow. So, don’t let that hold you back. Mention their names, tell stories, even cry with me! It’s all OK and part of this road we journey.
I hope you enjoy the video and it spurs your own memories. They are pictures of them in random order.
I hope you do allow yourself a few minutes to reflect on a special moment of Lizz and the boys or your loved one that you are missing.
When you hear this song, you will quickly understand why this song made me pull the car over when I heard it for the first time. But know this, through it all……I hold on, hold on, because He knows our pain and his promise remains. Amen!
PS: And I hope many of you will share your favorite memory of Lizz with me one day! This momma’s heart would love that!
I was standing in the pouring rain one dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold when she caught my eye
Her face was taut and her eyes were filled and to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph and my heart just stopped inside
She said, “He would have been three today. I miss his smile. I miss his face.”
What was I supposed to say?
But I believe always, always
Our savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain
And his promise remains.
He will be with you always
Friend, I don’t know where you are
And I don’t know where you’ve been.
Maybe you’re fighting for your life
Just about to throw the towel in,
But if you ‘re crying out for mercy
If there’s no hope left at all
If you’ve given everything you’ve got
And you’re still about to fall
Well hold on