give BIG……before I go…….

Todays blog is named after a bracelet Lizz gave me as a gift.  I don’t remember the specific year or the event that she gave me the bracelet, but when we were packing up Lizz’s belongings after her home going, I was cleaning out a drawer that had several pieces of jewelry in it.  There I found the bracelet just like the one she gave me:

On the front it said:

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On the back side were the words:

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I remember her telling me when she gave it to me that it was important that I put it on immediately and she was insistent that I wear the bracelet.  She would ask me when we talked if I had worn it.  So, you can imagine my emotions when I found this bracelet in her drawer and read the words:  Give BIG…..before I go

My daughter did Give BIG in everything!  Every party, every idea, every relationship, everything!  She loved even bigger and when she was wounded she hurt deeply.  But this I do know, because of her BIG view of life, she crammed a lot of living in 25 years.  I feel God etched on her heart this deep sense of life and needing to live it out everyday.  She felt so strongly about this that not only did she buy me a bracelet with these words, she bought one just like it for herself!  May I live up to her and God’s standard in this regard.  As I shared at her home going…..she lived very deliberately and purposely.  She understood what was really important in life and the other things were distractions,  the “white noise” that distract us from our journey called “life”.  Even though she was just twenty-five when she went to heaven she was so wise beyond her years.

Recently, John and I had the amazing privilege of going to Dallas to see Chris Tomlin and his Burning Lights Tour.  If you have never seen Chris Tomlin live, you are missing an amazing worship experience!  I heard the following song for the first time at the concert.  I felt he was singing this song at that moment specifically for me.    The name of the song is “Sovereign” and is a prayer.  Sovereignty of God is easy to embrace when life is going great…..but what about in life’s darkest moments?  When illness comes, when a marriage fails, when we lose a family member to cancer, or when a mother loses her daughter and grandchildren in a tragic car accident?  I have told many folks over the last 9 months that this has been the hardest faith walk for me in my life.  All those things you were taught in Sunday School, church, bible promises that you memorized…..the moment comes when the rubber hits the road and you have to live that faith.  Did you really believe all those things that you said you would when the storm of life would hit so unbearably hard?  I have always prayed that I would bear this cross to honor and glorify the one that gave her to me.  You see, she wasn’t really mine.  I had lost sight of that.  And God is sovereign.  I wept at the concert when Chris sang this song/prayer.  I hope it encourages you, on your journey, whatever cross that you happen to be carrying.  My peace comes in knowing that Jesus overcame it all.  Oh, I still have a huge hole in my heart at the moment…….but my Lord is holding me tightly through this.

Sovereign in my greatest joy
In my deepest cry
With me in the dark
With me at the dawn

In your everlasting arms
All the pieces of my life
From beginning to the end
I can trust you

In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you

And because I worship a BIG God, I know He can heal the hole in my heart, and because my Savior carries the physical wounds of his love so deep, I too pray that I will carry my wounds of this broken world with honor and glory and “whatever comes my way, I will trust you” because you are there from the beginning to the end.  AMEN

Please click to listen Chris Tomlin sing :  Sovereign

As many of you know, I just celebrated my birthday….my 1st since Lizz and the boys home going.  This birthday was one of those significant ones…….the double nickel, the speed limit sign.  These events cause you to examine your life.  God has already blessed me with 30 more years than Lizz had.  May the rest of my days; however many that will be…….be deliberate and purposeful and to Him ALL Glory, Honor and Praise!  And just like my daughter wanted to stress to me through those two bracelets……to Give Big, before I go……..

Blessings,

Julie

2 thoughts on “give BIG……before I go…….

  1. Dave and I pray for your continued “resting in His arms” and thank Him for what He is speaking to your heart and how it has comforted you. God bless you; we love you.

  2. Julie,
    what a cool bracelet and saying and so true that Liz lived her life that way. What a sweet blog, brought me to tears as often I do when thinking about Liz. What a sovereign BIG God we serve.

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